Expos breeze through first round

Notre-Dame-de-Grace (AP) - The Expos breezed through their opening playoff series, winning 2 straight against the Angels and eliminating their 2014 championship series rival from the playoffs. While details of the games are unclear due to a publication ban because of an ongoing investigation, unofficial reports from club insiders have reported that Liam Twomey was instrumental in both victories.

"Look, I can't give specifics," explained an anonymous caller with a thick Massachusetts accent, "but let's just say the Liam basically went 14 for 4 at the plate, and pitched two perfect games." Twomey was unavailable for comment.

The Expos now wait to find out who they play in round 2.